Brise...What?!

My dance instructor went over the next exercise, “Glissade, jete; glissade, jete; brise, jete…”  Wait, what?  Brise?  I don’t remember learning that back in the day…

I took dance (ballet, pointe, tap, jazz, and contemporary) from the age of 8 years into college through the age of 20 years.  For so long it was my passion and then a little thing called “life” entered the picture and dance fell to the wayside.  Ballet was always my favorite; I’ve taken classes on and off for the past 6 years and have just recently picked it back up!  This week was my first week of class and it kicked my rear! 

Halfway through the class, as the instructor was going over a rather difficult and intricate adagio (a slow, center floor exercise) that was tripping me up, quite literally, I paused, frustrated, and thought, “This may not be for me anymore.”  And as quickly as I thought this, I thought, “Anything worth having is worth working for.”  Isn’t that what our parents always taught us growing up?  What a true statement.  Why is it that we want whatever it is we want available instantly?  Whether it’s that new car or a promotion…we want it now, without having to save or work for it!  But that’s not how we achieve anything.  Hebrews 12:1 tells us, “And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.”  This is how our Lord intended life to be, run with joy and determination in all things we do. 

So, as quickly as the negative thought entered my mind, I prayed for patience with myself and my body.  When I went home that evening after class, I practiced the brise combination I learned.  I became more familiar with its technique, breaking it down and working it into the entire combination, becoming more at ease with the transitions.  Like with all things in life, it’ll take time, but in the end, it will be SO worth it! 

Run, or dance, through life with perseverance!   J

The Smell of a Koosh Ball

I have had this Koosh Ball since I was a young child. I've lost it and found it several times over the years. It smells strange, but it smells good to me...because it smells like a part of my childhood. I posted this picture on Facebook recently and my brother stated, he has also always enjoyed the way it smells. (He's in Afghanistan right now, so I can imagine he could almost smell this as he looked at the picture. I was just happy to give him a little taste of home, if only briefly.) It's funny how scents affect us. I can almost guarantee that everyone has a scent that takes us back to a happier, easier, and more free time of our lives. For example, the scent of a box of fresh Crayola crayons take me back to elementary school, the excitement of the first day! The joy of seeing your friends and new teachers...I always enjoyed school. 

However, there are scents that take us back to maybe, not-so-pleasant times of our lives. Perhaps they take us back to a time when mistakes were made. There is a particular scent that takes me back to a difficult time in my life, a time of heartache, struggle, and challenges. Most times, people would rather not encounter smells like that...but me, I embrace them. Because, regardless of the memories that the scent conjures inside me, it also then leads me to remember how I came out of it. How I got back up and rose again. My scripture reading this morning was 2 Cor. 12, in which Paul states, "I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties." I understand what Paul means here, because it is in these times, when we are to reach out to our Lord and Savior! And He will hear us and bring us through whatever challenges we're facing. 

I'm delighted to say that I've accepted a position and will begin a new job next week! These four months have been difficult and taxing. But I needed them...I needed this time of trial; because it's made me focus on my relationship with Jesus. If anyone knows how much I worry, it's Christ...and dare I say, my husband! However, this time has made me realize the importance of fully trusting in His plan for me and surrendering my anxieties and worries. So, right now, I'm not sure what scent will bring me back to these four months of growth. But I'm thankful for my time of reflection of who I am and who I want to be for my Savior. I am a better person for it.

Enjoy the Music of Life

Music has always been a passion of mine.  It started when I was young, as a dancer.  You can't dance without music, they go hand-in-hand!  Since then, I've developed a passion for the art, almost always listening to some type of music when I do just about anything...cleaning, working, running, writing, browsing Facebook!  Music has so much power, creating inspiration.  It can make us happy, sad, stir memories of our past and help create new ones.  Though I must admit, I have no musical abilities personally...just an incredible appreciation.

An appreciation that recently  grew tremendously.  Last week I spent the day in the studio with a good friend, who's son is a new artist (one of the best I've heard in a long time, may I add) and was recording his first demo.  Wow!  Unless you've been in a studio during the recording process or are in the industry, I would dare say you don't know what goes into this process!  Like I've said, I love music, but I had no clue!  He started the day with a new song, recording the basic guitar part first.  Then he added the main vocals and lyrics.  This was followed by some underlying guitar parts and vocal background support.  Then he proceeded to add supporting sounds, like hand claps and foot stomps.  For each different part, each additional idea had to be recorded separately.  Then the technician (I think that was his 'title') would lay all these pieces and parts into the correct places in the song.  The detail and adjustments was astounding. 

Now, from what I understand, because this artist is new to the scene and plays his own guitar, the process was more labor intensive than, say, an individual who has a band.  Because the band supports with their own instruments, creating the sounds of the music, while the vocalist provides lyrics.  My friend's son had to create not just the vocals, but the instruments as well.  Additionally, this particular song was more intricate anyway, as specified by the artist.  So, this song took an all day session to complete.  Since its completion,  I've heard the final product and it's fun to know what went into making all the different sounds, the cuts, the fades, etc.  Appreciation has been newly defined.

When I think about it, people are much the same...right?  No one really knows anybody until we go behind the scenes and listen to and watch the different layers that make the individual.  I know people have been compared to onions and the pealing back of the different layers.  But onions are gross!  I'd much rather be compared to a great song!  And this process could take years.  You probably know what I mean if you've ever had any sort of relationship...especially if you're married.  Even then, after almost four years of marriage, there are still things I'm learning about my husband.  The process never ends. 

So, it's so sad when people are so quick to judge others.  We don't have a clue what their "song" is about or what they've been through in their life.  Sometimes a quiet woman may be perceived as being rude or antisocial, but maybe she was abused as a child for years and struggles with trusting others.  How sad is it that we may be so quick to write her off?  When if we would just give her chance and get to know her, listening to the different parts of her song, we could learn so much.  And I'm not saying that I'm not guilty of judging, because I am...unfortunately, we all are, because we're human and we're sinners.  There is only one being that has the right to judge anyone...our Lord.  So why don't we leave that up to Him and just enjoy the "music" people have to offer...what if?

Life...live with contentment!

My Great Uncle, Steve, passed away a couple of weeks ago; he was 94.  Can you imagine the life he lived?  Can you imagine everything he saw throughout his life?  The revolution of cars bursting onto the American scene or transportation in general and the impact that it made on society.  War, over and over again.  The Great Depression, multiple natural disasters, Amelia Earhart's feat, the gangster days, sports adventures , color TV, and space adventures.  The civil rights movements, The Beatles, JFK's assassination, Star Wars, outbreaks of unknown diseases, 80's hair bands, and Michael Jackson's Thriller video.  Computers, cell phones, the Internet, and terrorist attacks...9-11. 

And that's just a few of the significant history changing events for America...not to mention the events that changed my great uncle's life personally.  My Uncle Steve was a WWII Veteran and I often think of communication differences between then and now.  Writing and waiting for letters vs. Skype and instant communication.  Some may think that's a silly thing to think about, considering all the other significant life altering events in our history.  But I've been through a deployment with my husband and Skype was a Godsend.  I honestly can't contemplate waiting for a letter!  Even now, our postal service is much more advanced and we can receive a letter from Iraq or Afghanistan in a few weeks...but back then it was more like months! 

It's amazing how far we've come, just in the 27 years that I've been alive, much less 94!  And yet, somehow, we all find something to complain about...almost every day.  We can always manage to find a way to bring ourselves or others down.  Why?  What does this accomplish?  Except heartache...

Funerals always make me think, "I should do better connecting with and maintaining relationships with my family."  But there's always an excuse as to why I don't, even though there really isn't any excuse.  My Uncle Steve told amazing stories, that unfortunately, I didn't hear enough of.  I should have made more of an effort to listen and now it's too late. 

Life would be so much easier (not to mention more pleasant) if we found the beauty in every day, said "Hello" to strangers, and smiled more.  Called our families and listened, much more than we talked; and thanked God for everything with which He's blessed us!  How would life look different if we lived a life of contentment? Being thankful for what we have and not worrying about what we don't.  What if we thanked God for our food, clothing, shelter, health, and loved ones every day...and communicated love a little more to those that matter in our lives?  I feel certain my Great Uncle Steve did.  And if we do these things as the way of our life, who knows...maybe we'll be blessed enough to get to do it for 94 years!

Just Say No

Someone once said, "Sometimes the best, most empowering word you can learn to utter is no."  I would tend to agree with this statement, but I have something to add.  It's not enough to learn to say no; you have to know WHEN to say no.  It's incredible how a simple, two-letter word can make such a difference in our lives.

It's funny to think that one of the first words children learn to say is, in fact, "no."  I feel confident saying most parents probably wish this was not the case, because it's most often said in situations in which the parent would rather hear, "yes" or almost anything else!    

There are so many tragic situations that happen in this world where we think, "why didn't they say no?"  A woman is abused by her partner repeatedly, but continues to go right back to him.  A young man drinks too much at a party, says he's safe to drive, hits and kills a family in a head-on collision.  Texting and driving, affairs, drugs...I could go on and on.  And there are lesser instances like taking on too many responsibilities, resulting in us becoming less effective in our jobs or personal lives. 

But there are times when we should not say no.  Often times God will present us with what I like to call "uncomfortable opportunities" throughout life.  He asks us to step outside of what is part of our routine and enter into a situation that we wouldn't normally, to achieve something bigger than us; to achieve something for the greater good.  I believe we grow the most in these situations of discomfort...don't say no to them, you may just learn something new about yourself and others!

So, how do we know when to say no?  Sometimes, it's common sense or just simply the difference between right and wrong.  But sometimes the lines are a little less clear and skewed just a bit.  In those situations I have learned prayer and reaching out for advice are the ways to help us make the tough decisions.  Don't just learn to say no...learn when to say no, to make it count.

Unemployment

Well, it's only been a year since I last posted anything, ha!  Let's try this again, shall we?

I realization came upon me earlier this week - I've been unemployed for three months now...lovely.  I'm not going to lie, it was hard at first, accepting that the best job I've ever had was over.  The program I built from the ground up was no longer mine.  It eventually sank in when my "replacement" stopped calling and emailing for help.  I worked on a government contract and the government decided...well, I'm not sure what the government decided, I believe they are still trying to figure it out themselves.  Regardless, the government terminated the civilian contract, leaving me, my team of four, and every other states' teams jobless, turning all responsibilities over to their people. 

So, I started doing what an unfortunate amount of Americans are doing now...applying for other jobs, waiting to hear back, and waiting to hear back some more.  At which time, I either receive an email thanking me for my interest in their company, but they've decided to go in another direction.  Or, in the rare case that I have received a call to interview, I get excited, study the company and interview questions, and pull out all my best!  Only a week later to THEN be told thanks for my interest, but they've decided to go in another direction.  Rejection is heart wrenching and discouraging.  I began to feel as if no one wanted me, that I was worthless, despite my experience, honors, and volunteer work. 

I quickly learned that this way of applying for work in today's world is wrong.  Anyone can look good, even great, on paper.  But it's about that face to face communication that tells a company if you're going to fit into their culture.  Someone may not have exactly all the qualifications or experience, but has the personality that will help build stronger team cohesion.  On the other hand, someone may have exactly all the qualifications and experience mentioned in the job description, but have the personality of snail - or worse yet, an angry squirrel - that may eventually result in poor team morale.   Those types of things can't be judged on paper.  It's the wrong way to interview...it's the wrong way to chose your team.

It took me a good little while to realize this "time off" that I have been so graciously blessed with (do you detect my sarcasm), may not be at all what I had imagined it to be.  I've always had a problem with giving things to God, as He tells us we must do.  I'm a type A personality, I can handle things myself, and I do.  However, that's not what God had in mind for me...I'm fairly certain He got fed up with me handling things myself and He was determined to make me understand how easy things can be when I turn them over to Him.  But trust me, I didn't give in without a fight!  However, I wish I had!

You see, even though I am a Type A personality, I am a very dependent person, sometimes to a fault.  It's caused me unnecessary heartache and trouble over the years.  But I've rarely been dependent upon the most important...God Himself.  So, after about a month of wallowing in my own self pity, I finally started dabbling in myself and everything that that entails.  I felt incredibly led to just surrender everything to our Lord.  Because, when I look back on the hardships in my recent past, I realized at no point did I ever truly "crash."  I've always had a roof over my head, clothes on my back, food on the table, bills paid, etc.  And the same was true now, even with me not having a job.  Yes, things must be a little tighter now, but ultimately, God has blessed my husband with an amazing job and we're ok. 

I'm not going to pretend that I wouldn't rather have a job, because I would and the extra income is nice.  Not to mention that "down time" is not in a Type A individual's vocabulary.  But I know that this time has been designed for me to focus on my relationship with our Lord and Savior.  And that is important...above everything else.  Because when your relationship is right with God...everything else falls right into place.  I know my Lord will provide the perfect job for me...in HIS time, not mine.  God will always provide; God will never leave or forsake us.  Therefore, I resolve to strive to never leave or forsake Him. 

Uncomfortable

Sometimes things just don't feel right, whatever "right" may be.  You can't quite put your finger on what is causing the uneasiness, but it can be uncomfortable to the point of annoyance.  What do you do in those moments?  Do you try to stay busy and keep your mind off of it?  Or do you focus on it, trying to decipher the code behind the feelings?  Do you write about it?  :) 

There is very little we can do to control it, so what we really should do is let it go into the Lord's hands and wait.  What an awful word "wait" can be!  We live in a society of "instant gratification," so waiting isn't a word many people enjoy hearing.  But the Lord makes it very clear, several times in the Bible, that He does things according to His time, not ours.  And His time is very different from ours!  It's easier said than done, waiting and trusting in the Lord's time...but if we can achieve this, a new peace can come over us.  He really does know best!